Thursday, August 06, 2020

Where I End and You Begin
(Final Post)


This blog began in 2003 as a place for Brock and me to post our thoughts, opinions, on our musings about movies and music. As we became busy in our own lives the blog became less frequented by us. With the advent of Facebook, even less so. Looking at the archives to the right, that is quite apparent in the exponentially diminishing posts every year.

My dear friend, my collaborator, brother-in-faith, fell asleep in death on December 8th, 2009. The end of this blog was imminent, and now assured, with the passing of Brock H. Brown.

I will leave it up for a time so that anyone who wishes to peruse through Brock's insightful quips and diatribes may do so. I wish there was a way to banish all of my nonsensical posts, for more manageable Brock reading. When I'm ready I'll archive this blog as a memoir and close the chapter of this blog.

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The Story of Brock and Me
I cannot remember the exact day, the exact year even, of when I first met Brock. My best guess is '93 or '94. My friend Alex, who eventually became my brother-in-law, introduced me to him and his brothers. At the time Alex's sister, Rebekah, was sitting for them. They hailed from Salt Lake City, Utah. A friend of the Brown family, Grider Howton, who had known them from Salt Lake introduced Rebekah to the family when they inquired about a sitter. Grider knew Rebekah from being in the same congregation. The rest, is history.

Alex and I would go over to hang out with the boys, Brock, Chase, Parker, then eventually Hudson. We would just rough-house, watch TV, play games, and skateboard in the driveway/street. Once in a while we would pull out their parents' camcorder and make stop-action shorts, or other movie shorts, usually of the Kung Fu variety. Hopefully, a few of those will make their world debut.

In October of 1997, Rebekah and I got married and Brock was our ring bearer. He fulfilled his assignment admirably.

We naturally had an influence on Brock in regards to movies and music. However, just as you can teach someone to ride a bike, where they go is determined by their own ambition. Brock and I often rode on the same paths in regards to music and movies. We had great times taking road trips together to California to catch favorite bands such as Braid, The Casket Lottery, and Mew.

Matter of Chance is Born
We had a lot of fun making home movies. So much so, we talked often of doing more with it. After Brock graduated High School and contemplated secondary education, he figured "why not do something with filmmaking?" I decided to live through Brock, wishing I could've done something as cool and fun for secondary education. I told him we should get him ahead of the curve, start making films now, and he readily agreed. We kicked around a lot of ideas, and around this time it so happened that the Phoenix Film Project was putting together their first ever 48-hour film contest. This was June of 2004.

I suggested to Brock that we try our hand at this contest, which upon giving all the teams three guidelines on Friday evening, had to turn in a completed film on Sunday evening, 48 hours later. He was all in and we gathered Alex and his friend Kevin to assist us in shooting our "first film." To ensure we'd go through with this endeavor, I filled out the paper work and paid the fee. Stealing a line repeated three times in the opening of Magnolia, I named our group "Matter of Chance," and it stuck.

We had a lot of fun filming what became, "I'm Not Crazy." We even partially filmed a second option the same weekend with the working title of "Work Crazy." We didn't make the top 20. We knew that for a first effort it wouldn't be great, but we thought the other films must have been really great. They weren't. Sure, there were some good ones, but just seeing what films made the top 20 gave us motivation to rock a better film next time. Then came along Joshua J. Provost.

Josh helped take our films to the next level. At the same time Phoenix was starting to see the beginnings of the local film movement. With organizations such as The Phoenix Film Project, and The Almost Famous Film Festival, came many opportunities for filmmakers to compete in numerous contests. With that, we churned out film after film (http://www.matterofchance.com/films.html). Brock also started getting into his core classes, making some quality student films.

Many of our films won awards, but the most cherished result of them all was the camaraderie, and fun times we all had making them. They will provide fond memories for years to come. I hope to continue making some films. Starting back up may prove difficult, and I'm sure Josh would agree. Brock was our writer, and the reason why we continued to make films. Our new reason, will be to continue in his honor.

Reflection
Brock's passing only means the end of a chapter, but the beginning of a new one. A chapter, upon first thought would seem rather bleak, and probably not as engaging. Stick with it, though, and the payoff will be so worth it. In a satisfactory twist near the end, Brock rejoins the cast of characters in the thrilling climax. The book shortly ends, but it's only the end of one story in an ongoing, eternal series.

Know that if I were to unexpectedly die, where I end, you begin. Make it a good one.

Slowly fade to black.
(Originally written...2014? Finally published)


Everything and everyone and in the end we all are one

This post was originally supposed to be a comment to my last post, thanking Gabe and Josh for their kind words. But I started spilling all this stuff out and I realized I had a lot of stuff to get off my chest. And hey, this is a blog, so it's supposed to be a little self-indulgant. Oh yeah, I didn't spell-check this or anything. You get Brock - uncut. This week has been so crazy, I feel like I might collapse when this semester is over (which, it will be, this time next week). I can't even begin to relate how difficult it has been or some of the garbage I've had to go through (literally in one case). At any rate, I'm glad you guys like the cover. Gabe, you totally make it work man, so stop saying otherwise. Heh heh. Seriously, everyone totally dug your performance. A lot of the classmates asked me how I was able to find time to audtion another actor. Oh yeah, I showed my cut in class tonight, and it turned out sorta good, but also sorta iffy. The teacher loved the atmosphere of the piece, and she disliked it too...if that makes sense. After the piece was over she sat there for a few seconds thinking to herself, and she said, "It's very smooth, and it's emotionally disturbing at the same time, and yet I can place my finger on what I don't like, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing". Other students said it was very creepy and unsettling, but that they liked feeling disturbed. There is a big problem with the film, and it bugs me to no end...but I think I can fix it in time. It's just so gut-wrenching, because it has to be done by next Tuesday, and tonight I got a motherload of suggestions and pointers on what "worked" and what "didn't work". And it bothers me when the theacher walks away from the film feeling a little off balance. Gah... I also feel like I'm not giving this film the "justice" it deserves in my edit. Soooooo...I'm just going to clean the edit up, work on the suggestions given to me by the class, and then redo the whole thing after the semester is over. I mean, redo all the post-production work. The footage is fine, great even. I never had problems with the footage. I just am finding it very difficult to work with this lack of time, and turn out the product that I want, the product that I see in my head. So I will distribute basic cuts to anyone who wants them, but after this semester is over, I'm going to go back in and take my time perfecting the vision I left off with in the footage. That might not be the answer a lot of people want...and I know it isn't the answer I wanted to give, but it's what's gonna have to be. I just can't turn out the brilliant piece I see in my mind when I have to chop this footage together and throw it on some teacher's desk at 7:00 next Tuesday. There's absolutely no beauty, no vision in that. It's like baking a beautiful cake and then not having time to make the perfect frosting to round out the whole deal. And I'm sorry I rant about it. I really shouldn't. I'm writing this at 11:00 o'clock at night after coming off a bad day and a full day of biology to look forward to tomorrow. It's not fun anymore. Every semester tends to wilt a little bit at the end, but this one has degenerated and stunk up the whole place. Anyway, sorry...that was all very lame.

Unfinished post by Brock (11/30/04)

1. Dr. Strangelove

When Dr. Edward Teller, the inventor of the Atomic Bomb, died in 2003, the media called him “Strangelove”.

The name was an especially cruel jape if you consider all of the other things Teller did in his lifetime. He was also the head of the research for Ronald Reagan’s Strategic Defense Initiative, an attempt to disarm nuclear weapons in space. Tied directly to that was his involvement with laser weapons technology, a new field which Teller championed. Such devices as the F.E.L. (Free Electron Laser), a weapon that toggles the electrons within an atom – freeing them – to create a more powerful laser beam, came about due to his involvement with laser technology. Moreover, Teller was the head of recruiting at the San Francisco based Livermore Weapons Laboratory, a collective of the top minds in the world, all bent towards doomsday research. At his craziest, Teller attempted to develop a laser that could be fueled by the power of a nuclear explosion. With those things in mind, many thought he earned the name of “Strangelove”. Kubrick might have been one of those many people who thought him deserving of it. Strangelove and his undying mockery Yes, Teller and other scientists often had a number of things in common with the fictional weapons chieftain. Many scientists who gained influence in the 50’s and 60’s had fled Nazi rule in the 40’s. Although history never recorded it, many might have been divided up piecemeal with other countries once the Nazi regime had come to an end. These weapons specialists were quickly put to work in their field of specialty. They massed power, whispered unknown words into the ears of leaders, and influenced the air of animosity that characterized the Cold War. And Kubrick asked why. Jeremy once pointed out that Dr. Strangelove did not even show up until halfway through the movie, despite the fact that it was named after him. And yet, he is clearly the centerpiece of this darkly comical opus. Strangelove was a mockery of everything Teller and other influential scientists were. He was an unabashed jab that was masterfully carried out by Peter Sellers (and the seething edge of his sting is still felt to this day). Years went by, wars began and ended at the advice of people like Teller, and Strangelove remained the cruel joke of retaliation. Every doomsday weapon must have a brilliant mind behind it, you see. And Strangelove was among the very first of such minds to be characterized in motion pictures. He’s the quintessential mad scientist who is tinkering with the fate of mankind to achieve his own ends. At the end of the film, when depression sinks in for the loss of humanity, Strangelove rejoices at the resurrection of his beloved fascism. His forced, yet restrained speech when he utters the word “slaughtered” is a glimpse into his psyche. And his rogue Nazi hand, one of the few things about Strangelove’s persona still pledging allegiance to that bygone evil, seems to have more control over him then even he has. As such, Strangelove is a commentary on the very nature of weapons scientists and their influence. Strangelove seems to barely maintain an inkling of control over himself. Ironically, the President never stops taking him seriously.

The waroom where Strangelove dwelt

Kubrick was a great fan of Sellers’ performance. In fact, word has it that he couldn’t stop laughing when he was filming Sellers’ war room sequences. Did he know he had created something profound? Would Kubrick suspect that Strangelove would come to represent the vast collective of evil masterminds and madmen throughout the ages? Perhaps. But perhaps he was genuinely touched by the sheer hilarity of the character. And so it is; Dr. Strangelove continues to remain iconic to this day. Crazy scientists have never really outgrown Kubrick and Sellers’ caricature of their mentality. Their pegging of that era and those unseen historical figures was so acute that it remains credible even now. Of course, real life isn’t nearly so satirical as Strangelove, and Kubrick’s grasp wasn’t meant to be definitive. It’s merely a funny, new creation – the mad scientist and his evil plot.

But it is still a subtle wink….

Unfinished post by Brock (1/6/05)

Credit Reel

I've been mentally categorizing all of the things I've worked on in 2004 and 2005...for posterity purposes. I think I just like to make lists. Here, I'll share: Title - Project type - Position 2004: Last Rights with Johnny Boscow - Feature Length Screenplay - Writer Leaving Town - Unfinished Casket Lottery Video - Co-director, co-writer I'm Not Crazy - Short Film - Co-writer, director Pantomiming - Short Film - Writer, director, editor Outside In - Short Film - Writer, producer, director, editor Ballad for Bonifacy - Feature Length Screenplay - ABANDONED The Glove Box - Short Film - Coffee Boy The Truth About Dismembered Mexicans - Short Film - Cinematography Fine Line - Short Film - Cinematography Daydream - Short Film - Cinematography Hungry Man - Short Film - Cinematography 2005: Sin of the Opiate - Feature Length Screenplay - Researched Wildlifeless - Short Film - Writer Untitled Screen Wars Screenplay - Short Film - Writer Hornsby and the Void Luminous - Short Film - Writer The Madcap Armament - Feature Length Screenplay - Writer (incomplete)

Unfinished post by Brock (2/9/05)

The year ahead

We went to the Screen Wars Action Wrap Up party tonight, which was a lot of fun, and got the chance to talk with many of the filmmakers behind the films in this challenge. Everyone was in good spirits and we saw plenty of familiar faces. We also dropped our upcoming schedule on some of the filmmakers and talked up future projects. We're taking a break after screen wars...that much is for sure. But when we come back, I think the first thing on our slate is: drumroll Intenser Math Maybe...

Unfinished post by Brock (6/7/05)

Surprise

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Review

Unfinished post by Brock (7/19/05)


We will not walk in fear, one of another

David Strathairn as Edward R. Murrow


Unfinished post by Brock (12/19/05)

(edit: I finally found one final scrap -- a folder entitled "boscow revision". Inside were plans for a rewrite of the screenplay. Some of the notes went like this... "When Johnny walks away from his band after the first Crimson Surge skit, they follow, asking him where he is going, to which he replies, 'Hookers. I need hookers.'"; "Johnny sits in a movie theater with Jenny and watches a terribly sad film, but unfortunately, he is the only one who finds it terribly funny"; "Sketch out the Johnny/Jenny relationship". Not nearly enough to work with.)


Unfinished post by Brock (5/3/06) Missed the dates on the previous posts...

Keeping my mind busy

So what do you do when your stomach feels like it's on the verge of emptying out all its contents, along with a brand new screenplay, at 11:30 at night? Something to keep your mind busy. I don't know why I feel like I'm about to puke; it might have something to do with the Japanese food I ate earlier this evening. Whatever the case may be, I'm waiting it out. And to keep my mind busy (and off the subject of...*gulp*), I'm here blogging...with you. And now the question pops into my head on what to talk about. There's no absolute way I can post a cohearant review of one of the many movies I've seen previously...is there? No, not a chance. I'm not even going to spell-check this puppy. I'm just running now... So we'll talk about Flim Flam. Flim Flam is a new film I've directed at SCC. It is the last film of my school career (assuming I don't go into another program) and it is somewhat constructed from the lectures, ideas and contraints presented within my Advanced Motion Picture class. It's simple (in a way), has some filmic qualities and is largely geared towards entertaining an audience for once...and not just strictly myself. We're editing right

Unfinished post by Brock.

Check In

Listening to: Outlandos d'Amour...by The Police. Planning to watch:Floating Weeds...by


Unfinished post by Brock.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Brock H. Brown’s Retrospective on the NBA – Part I: From the Ashes




Hey folks, welcome to the first of 5 blog posts I intend to write about this season of the NBA. There is a plethora of bright spots to dish about, and I want to focus on the things that caught my eye, that excited me, that made me appreciate the game this year more than any other year. I am a fan of the Phoenix Suns, yes, but I am also a fan of basketball in general, and to me, the NBA is the most concentrated form of the game…skill at its very best and most entertaining.
So that’s what I intend to talk about. Here’s the posts you can look forward to:

1) From the Ashes – a few upsides to this year in Phoenix.
2) The Magic Kingdom – A post about the Magic and why they are my Eastern pick.
3) CP3 – A post about Chris Paul and why he really deserves the MVP award.
4) A Moment to Remember – A post about the Cavs and how they are a picture perfect copy of Jordan’s Bulls.
5) Ladies and gentlemen…I am pleased to introduce your L.A. Lakers – You guessed it..a post about the Lakers and how this team was really created years ago, well before most of its current roster was even playing in the NBA.



All that being said, let’s focus on the bright spots of the Phoenix Suns.
Really, most fans find it hard to find the good points in this dismal year…
…The Suns have collapsed over the salary cap, they have a superstar who is unable to play, and what’s worse, they have very few pieces they can move to other teams in an effort to improve their situation. How in the world could I even assume there are bright spots to be found?
But there are!

1) The Bench – Early on in the season, Terry Porter refused to play most of the Phoenix bench, a move reminiscent of his predecessor, Mike D’Antoni. Unfortunate. To be fair, he was losing games and favor at a rapid pace…and in that kind of a situation, you tend to want to play your best, in this case Stoudemire and Nash. However, following his dismissal and the hiring of Alvin Gentry, Phoenix fans saw something funny happen. They saw the Phoenix bench getting considerable minutes in comparison to the starters. More than that, they saw the bench WINNING games the starters had lost. Guys like Lou Amundson, Jared Dudley and Goran Dragic were having breakout games against seemingly indestructible foes. They were succeeding where their superiors had failed…largely because of their tenacity and heart. In fact…let me focus on a few stories…



2) Lou Amundson – Talk about a total dork. The second I saw this guy I thought to myself, “get him off the court…he looks like a loser.” Now? Fans are already talking about the day he will be inducted into the Ring of Honor. It’s like it is set in stone. And indeed, no story in the list of stories for the Phoenix Suns this year deserves to be highlighted more than that of Lou Amundson. Sweet Lou. Lighting Lou. Thor. A nobody from the D-League who rised through the ranks to become a fan favorite. And he did it because of his sheer desire…because he wanted to be the go to guy, the team player, the voice that said it could be done when the chips were down. He’s earned his place on the Suns.


3) Jared Dudley – the diamond in the rough story. Jared Dudley was acquired by Phoenix from the Bobcats in a trade that also included Jason Richardson. Actually, Dudley was more of a side-note, a joke that was unloaded on Phoenix in the big deal that brought us J.Rich. He hardly saw minutes under Porter. He was considered space…a name to fill a requirement. But when Gentry started coaching the team, a different opinion formed: what if he was the best part of that whole trade. Dudley’s last several games have showed us a young player caught in a trance-like command of the floor. He defends, he shoots and he cuts to the paint…he is a Brandon Roy-esque player capable of doing whatever asked of him. He very well could be the new go-to-guy in Phoenix. The one charged with impossible missions.

4) Goran Dragic – C’mon…you gotta root for this guy. When the season started out, he was a joke. He still isn’t considered anything brilliant, but the transformation he went through this year alone has been HUGE. Watching his confidence improve has been one of the most inspirational things to happen in Phoenix this year.

So there ya go. That’s my bright side of the sun, so to speak. To me, this was a very fun and important year for the Suns, despite the inner-turmoil and growing pains. At the end of the day, the old regime, personalized by Nash, Stoudemire and to some extent, Shaq, had to be cleared away to make way for the nobodies. Goran Dragic, Jared Dudley, Lou Amundson, Alando Tucker…I tell ya, Phoenix did as well as it did this year not because it was a team on the wane, but because it was a team breeding a lot of young, new talent that wanted to assert itself in this league. I am looking forward to the last few games and next year BECAUSE OF Dragic, Dudley, Amundson and the rest of the Phoenix bench. And get used to it, Phoenix fans. They are Gentry’s boys. From the look of things, he enjoys playing these guys and from discussions off the court, he appears to want to keep them. It's amazing when you think about it...the new Phoenix Suns coach has shown us the team he wants: fiery...full of heart...no-names. Guys who will play BOTH ENDS OF THE COURT. They still have some issues to work out, but Alando Tucker, Jared Dudley, Lou Amundson, Goran Dragic and Robin Lopez represent the new Phoenix Suns. And I couldn’t be happier.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Wild Things

Spike Jonze rules!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Good Morning, Lakerland

Good Morning, Lakerland




People scream as if on the downturn of a roller coaster. The shoving is intense, brutal, like a mugging in a New York alley.
And then I am kicked out of the elevator. Two people follow…one, a young male, in his twenties like me, and a beautiful girl, who lands on me with an oomph. My ribs hurt. My knees are bloodied and my ears ringing. Smoke is everywhere. The girl is beautiful, yes…but hell, survival of the fittest. So, I get up and run away.

That’s when I hear “CUT!!!!”

Thank goodness. By now my legs are on fire. I’ve fallen out of that freaking elevator 5 times. The girl is pretty in a way, and at first it was kind of a novelty to have her butt falling on me. But now?
Don’t care. Get me out of here…
Mark Wilson, the director, marches into the coridoor, his tall, lithe frame cutting through the fog and dim 2K beams. Even out here in L.A. you can tell he’s a Phoenix kid. There’s a quiet to him, a simple but confident presentation that is only amplified by his generic blue jeans and white hoodie. He smiles at me, tells me it was awesome and then I hear what I expected to hear since he first marched onto the set.

One more take?




Guh. Sure Mark. Anything for you, bud.

By the way, I am on the set of Honeymoon, a film I penned two years ago when I was nearing my completion of SCC’s film program. It’s a sodden little tale about a newlywed couple who are vacationing in Bolivia, fighting about a little bump in their relationship. Turns out the blushing bride had gotten one final fling in before she settled down. Her husband isn’t too happy about it...can you blame him? All this comes to a head when their hotel is suddenly attacked by the locals. You see, governmental revolution doesn’t just stop because your marriage is going to pot.

(This is where I feel compelled to tell you, I have no idea why they are staying in Bolivia. I sure as hell don’t plan to have my honeymoon there. I hope people give me the grace of suspension of disbelief)

So then, you now know why I spent the weekend watching Mark film this script, sitting quietly by a playback monitor, drinking coffee and chatting with the crew…It was fun, and I learned a lot about Mark and a lot about myself. And apparently, so did everyone else.

Mark is very explicitly Phoenix. Down home, wholesome. He's a great guy.

I’m...different.

It’s funny, because the director, assistant director, composer and various other positions were all helmed by kids from Phoenix, and as a result, a running joke materialized at the onset of the shoot: This weekend will tell everyone whether or not the Phoenix kids can make it out in L.A.
After the second AD voiced that challenge, those words hung over every single delay, as if to say, resoundingly: “NO”. Unfortunate really, because there were as many victories as there were mistakes. The very fact that a Phoenix kid was directing a short film on Panavision’s lot, with Panavision’s equipment, should be the victory cry in itself.

All that being said…I never really felt like a “Phoenix kid”. I never really felt like I was trying to prove myself in the same way they were. And they didn’t seem to see me in that light either. How was I seen?
When I first arrived, I was just a detested writer. The AD had his eye on me the entire time, as if waiting for me to inevitably spout out “YOU’RE RUINING MY VISION”. When that didn’t come, everyone’s perspective shifted again: “How old is this kid? 12? Why is he running around L.A., waltzing in and out of Panavision whenever he wants?” By the time I memorized everyone’s name and had some conversations, everyone finally found a kind of comfort around me.

I think.

It was still weird for me. Talking to actors, watching a massive supercrane sweeping over my head, having people discuss how Honeymoon was a social commentary on South American politics and the American perspective...simply insane, unexpected, undeserved.
BUT, the weirdest? That would go to being an extra in the film, spending a few takes falling out of an elevator shaft, and then hobbling away, bloody knees and all, to go watch the Lakers.

Mark had his quiet, confident identity. But in that moment, Huck earned his. He didn't create it, He didn't even expect it. The entire set gave to him. And that didn't feel weird at all.


It felt great.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Go Utah

The Jazz-men have propelled themselves to 12 in a row. Wowzas...

What can I say? They're the home team. I love L.A. to death, dirty playing and all. But, this is the clutch. This the time that defines who people really are...and I can't go against the home team. The Lakers are gonna win the West. No doubt in my mind. And they deserve it.

But, my team is the JAZZ. They were my dad's team. He was there, courtside, before I even existed. Now it's my turn to pick up the torch. Go for it guys. Play like heck! I know you can do it!

Brock

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

You are sound itself...

I am currently listening to the new Sufjan Stevens song, You Are the Blood off that Dark Was the Night compliation CD. It is incredible. All the songs are very good...but when you get to Sufjan...wow. I mean, Ben Gibbard is fine and all...but Sufjan drops a track for some stupid collection CD and it comes off better than most of these guys' full length albums.

I want the next state, ASAP.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I Don't Wanna Go There

It's been far too long since someone's posted on here. So, I aim to bring more activity to this blog.
From one of my all-time favorite bands, Dinosaur Jr. Their new song "I Don't Wanna Go There." Rip it, J...