Everything and everyone and in the end we all are one

This post was originally supposed to be a comment to my last post, thanking Gabe and Josh for their kind words. But I started spilling all this stuff out and I realized I had a lot of stuff to get off my chest. And hey, this is a blog, so it's supposed to be a little self-indulgant. Oh yeah, I didn't spell-check this or anything. You get Brock - uncut. This week has been so crazy, I feel like I might collapse when this semester is over (which, it will be, this time next week). I can't even begin to relate how difficult it has been or some of the garbage I've had to go through (literally in one case). At any rate, I'm glad you guys like the cover. Gabe, you totally make it work man, so stop saying otherwise. Heh heh. Seriously, everyone totally dug your performance. A lot of the classmates asked me how I was able to find time to audtion another actor. Oh yeah, I showed my cut in class tonight, and it turned out sorta good, but also sorta iffy. The teacher loved the atmosphere of the piece, and she disliked it too...if that makes sense. After the piece was over she sat there for a few seconds thinking to herself, and she said, "It's very smooth, and it's emotionally disturbing at the same time, and yet I can place my finger on what I don't like, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing". Other students said it was very creepy and unsettling, but that they liked feeling disturbed. There is a big problem with the film, and it bugs me to no end...but I think I can fix it in time. It's just so gut-wrenching, because it has to be done by next Tuesday, and tonight I got a motherload of suggestions and pointers on what "worked" and what "didn't work". And it bothers me when the theacher walks away from the film feeling a little off balance. Gah... I also feel like I'm not giving this film the "justice" it deserves in my edit. Soooooo...I'm just going to clean the edit up, work on the suggestions given to me by the class, and then redo the whole thing after the semester is over. I mean, redo all the post-production work. The footage is fine, great even. I never had problems with the footage. I just am finding it very difficult to work with this lack of time, and turn out the product that I want, the product that I see in my head. So I will distribute basic cuts to anyone who wants them, but after this semester is over, I'm going to go back in and take my time perfecting the vision I left off with in the footage. That might not be the answer a lot of people want...and I know it isn't the answer I wanted to give, but it's what's gonna have to be. I just can't turn out the brilliant piece I see in my mind when I have to chop this footage together and throw it on some teacher's desk at 7:00 next Tuesday. There's absolutely no beauty, no vision in that. It's like baking a beautiful cake and then not having time to make the perfect frosting to round out the whole deal. And I'm sorry I rant about it. I really shouldn't. I'm writing this at 11:00 o'clock at night after coming off a bad day and a full day of biology to look forward to tomorrow. It's not fun anymore. Every semester tends to wilt a little bit at the end, but this one has degenerated and stunk up the whole place. Anyway, sorry...that was all very lame.

Unfinished post by Brock (11/30/04)